September 29th

I just felt the need to chronicle this year's first Christmas Commercial! Yippee! Seen just now, 8:15 p.m. on the CW network. Presented by ... Kmart. That makes me happier than I can say.

Coming soon - Christmas advertising all year round. Can't wait!!!

Definitions

Grass (græs, grɑs): Any of several relatively low growing green perennial ground covers with sheathe-like leaves that does not grow in my lawn.

More Fun on Facebook

For some very odd reason, a piece of mail was sent to my father’s house, but bearing the name of my first ex-husband (don’t worry, I only have two exes). Now, I have been divorced from this person for more than 20 years, we had no children, and have nothing to do with each other. Still, there it was, so I when I went over for breakfast last weekend, Dad gave it to me unopened and asked what I wanted to do with it. Haha, loaded question. Anyway, of course I opened it and wouldn’t you know, it was a collection notice from a creditor. Seems Mr. Irishman hasn’t paid his cell phone bill, to the tune of 2 grand or so. Really. Hmmm. Fascinating. So I did the 21^st century thing, which is, got on the internet and Googled his name to see if he still existed. Yup, even the same address as 20 years ago. So, why are they sending his bills to addresses that are hundreds of miles away? I can only surmise that his finances are as stellar as ever, and someone bought that debt along with a whole package of miscellaneous other bad debts, hoping to collect some percentage on something. And they are grasping at straws, hoping for a bite (I love me a mixed metaphor). Anyway…

The funniest part of the story is, I got a “hit” on his current wife’s name – um, that would be the person he got pregnant while we were married, yeah, nice touch - she’s on Facebook. Curiosity got the better of me and I tried to look at the public part of her profile…not even a picture, just that blue background with the Gumby head. But beneath that I had three choices:

A) Add “Debbie” as a Friend

B) Send “Debbie” a Message

C) View “Debbie’s” Friends

Well needless to say, choices A & B were out, but how about C? So I clicked on it. And laughed my butt off when I read, and I quote, “Debbie has no friends.” Well, hell, no surprise there! What a hoot! That made my day. Well, that and she’s married to Mr. Responsible Irishman. Perfect couple.

Time to bitch

It's time to bitch. Let's bitch about Facebook. Facebook is like reliving your high school days. Wow, those were fun, let's get nostalgic (I hope you have a big mop to wipe up all that dripping sarcasm).

I've been a member of Facebook for about 6 months now. I'll admit, there are a few people with whom I had lost touch and whom I was glad to reconnect with. I personally have tried to use the FB platform as a tool to pass on kindness. Mostly. And mostly, my kindness has been met with kindness. Not always. Here's two examples.

#1 - I see the picture of a girl I knew when I was in grade school. She wasn't in my class, but lived in the neighborhood and our families intertwined some. So, I write her a note:

Me - Hey, Ruth. Nice to see you here on FB. I remember my mother babysitting you and your brother and sister at our house. I remember your mother working on a construction crew. How cool, she was way ahead of her time! Hope you are well.

Ruth - Wow, I don't know you. Your mother must have sat for my brother and sister, but not for me, I was a latchkey kid. Sorry.

BTW, the "friend" request I sent - ignored. Wow. Guess she must have been being traumatized at the time, how was I to know. Eek. Oh, and her picture - looks like the hard knock life (I know, snarky of me, but it's true). Oh, and she's friends with the other people from the hood. Except my brother Ed, who got the same weird reaction from her. Brings this to mind - "see you next Tuesday..."

#2 - On occasion, 'friend suggestions' pop up, based on friends that you share with someone else. Oh, here's one, it's Ann. Ann lived in the neighborhood, was a couple years older than me and had a really big family. Her sister Elaine was in my class, was a friend of mine. All of our siblings knew each other. One of her sisters is a FB friend of mine. Wow, I see she's a high school science teacher!

Me - Hi Ann. Nice to see you on FB. How great is it that you are a science teacher! I love it when women go after careers in math and science. Hey, I lived in the MW school district for a while not too long ago. Great system, but those taxes, ouch!

Ann - And you would be...?

Me - (Ouch!) Oh, sorry, sister to Randy and Ed T., lived on Pinetree Dr., was in Elaine's class. Just saying hello.

BTW - Ann is friends with brother Ed...hmmm. No further contact. (see you next Tuesday...) Now, I know it's not personal, it's these people, but c'mon, I was being nice. At least say something nice. Nope. It's like HS. Did I mention I skipped school a lot? Yeah. I skip a shitload of FB, too.

Public Bathroom Etiquette

I will start by saying, I hate public bathrooms. The hate is mitigated a bit if they are clean, but really, ewww. Also, the hate is reflected upon several times a day during the week, because I work in a government building. Rather than 'getting over it', it may be a bit worse because of the aforementioned regular exposure. Damn.

So, wishing I could post this on the mirror/door/walls of said public bathrooms (maybe ALL public bathrooms), I will instead post here, so my three readers can ponder and agree with my diatribe. Insert whine here...

Here's some important bathroom etiquette that apparently is not widely known:

1) Wow, didn't you get taught to flush? You need to make sure your toilet flushes the poisons that your body eliminates, be they pee or poop. Key word here - poisons. That means that not only does your body not want them, but no one elses body does, either. And not only doesn't anyone else want them, but they are POISON; i.e., toxic, deadly, harmful...etc. So at a minimum, make sure your shit is gone from the bowl before you leave the stall. If your toilet doesn't seem to be able to flush, TELL SOMEONE. Just someone. Hey, public, we have Facilities Management, so whoever you tell will let the right people know. I'm not saying you have to hang around and meet everyone to get your 'problem' fixed, just tell someone and leave. And don't come back.

2) If somehow you sprinkle on the seat, WIPE IT UP. Then learn how to sit and pee and wipe without sprinkiling like a guy.

3) If you have to poop, and it's a long-term project, how about a 'courtesy flush' once or twice to keep the odor to a minimum? I realize this requires thinking ahead and/or thinking of someone other than yourself, but hey, you are in public which connotes other people are with you.

4) Regarding #3, please, please don't leave skid marks in or on the bowl. That means checking your 'work' and waiting until the flush is complete to determine if another flush is needed.

5) For the anal-retentive among my fellow workers, stop making nasty comments about people going to take a s**t. I mean, what are they supposed to do, do it on their desks, or the floor, or - ? Get over it, unless they are violators of the first 4 comments.

S**t happens. Make it easier for other people to deal with.

The Desert of Delaware

Have I mentioned that summer can make me feel quite hateful? Especially when it hasn't rained and there is no rain in sight. I'm so f**king tired of this. I would welcome Hurricane Alex if he chose to rotate up this way. Am I wrong? Hint - don't answer that, because: 1) it's a rhetorical question and 2) I'm not wrong.

Blogger.....................

Okay, as we all know I'm new to this thing. I tried to copy and paste text from a Word document, and, NOTHING. Nothing? Really? Seriously? WTF? I don't know, that WTF may just be a rhetorical question, because my blogging sister was consulted and at least seemed to commiserate (sp?).

I ended up typing in my entry, ugh. But I did it, because I will not be thwarted by technology or the lack thereof. Pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft. So read my post on www.youmightknowmysister.blogspot.com and feel the pain of all that typing. I sure did.